Ask Edward

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Drawing from his five college degrees, including a Masters in Health Education, worldwide travels, and extensive research used in the creation of his book, The Male Thing Explained, and his new book-in-progress—The Healing Thing Explained; author, lecturer, inspiration generator, health educator and physical therapist, Edward Lee Goldstein, MA, MS, RPT. will answer all questions from both practical and esoteric perspectives regarding the mind, body, spirit and finances. Specifically, he will provide tangible information on relationships, male and female behavior, sex, gender identity; issues related to betrayal, guilt, shame, anger, loneliness, fear, pain, abandonment, physical illness, and the false belief in lack of supply.

When you email your questions to
: Your (anonymously asked) questions and Edward's answers will be posted on on this page within seven days. With an emphasis on the "mind/body/reality connection, along with practical answers and useful resources, Edward will provide healing affirmational tools, which can be used to further accelerate the reader's path to wellness.

"Sherry's" question: I'm thinking of having my boobs enlarged, but I'm still not sure. What do men really think about the size of a woman's breasts?

Dear Sherry: As a man with some experience; while there is no question that breasts come in a wide assortment of sizes and shapes (as do male appendages) and while enhanced plastic-filled boobies may take the cake visually; for me (and many, but not all of the men I've asked), the truth is in the touching and sensitivity. For many it is not size, but sensitivity that counts. A woman who is capable of enjoying her own body sensually, regardless of the size of her breasts is a major turn-on to most men. One of my biggest disappoints in the romance department occurred with a lovely, naturally-endowed, athletically-toned girl I was dating. She told me in the heat of passion, "All your booby play doesn't do a thing for me. I used to teach skiing and my nipples were frostbitten to the point I have no feeling left in my breasts." So I say, give me small, medium, or large, but make them soft, sensitive and capable of giving and receiving pleasure. Amen

Healing affirmantion: I, Mary, know I am perfect the way I am. Whether or not I enhance my breasts, I know the right man will be attracted to me and will love me for who I am, not what I look like. And so it is.

"Jake's" question: I'm fifty-five years old. I've been widowed for three years. For the last two years I've been dating a divorcee who is five years younger than me. She has been single for four years. We get along in every way and I've asked her to marry me. She says she loves me and would eventually like to settle down, but she isn't ready. If she isn't ready now, when will she be ready?

Dear Jake:
What you're probably dealing with is a "commitment vs. compromise" thing. Both women and men, as they get older, often become more rigid in their habits. Interestingly enough I've found, women in that "baby boomer
," age bracket who have been married and are now single, are less likely than men to want to be in a committed relationship. Despite what they say, in having a taste of freedom from the institution of marriage, many women now want to test their wings and fly. They're not intersted in having someone else (namely a man) tell them how high, how far, or when they can travel. Men on the other hand, having lost some of that spunk and vinegar (if not virility and a lower testosterine level), often fear being alone in their older years, or not having someone to baby them, (if not wait on them hand and foot) are more likely to want a committed relationship. And so the gender gap continues. I'd have a conversation with her and put all the cards on the table. If you want to remarry and she is not receptive to the propositiion, perhaps you need to look to a match-making service which will hook you up with someone who really wants to be married.

Healing affirmantion: I, Jake, know I have a lot to offer the right lady. I am not looking for an enslaving type of love out of "need," but rather a liberating love from the strength of "wanting" to live the rest of my life with the right lady who is receptive to all the love, support, and freedom I can provide her.

"Jane's" question:
I've worked at my place of employment for five years. I was due for a raise. My boss called me into her office and told me how much my dedication was appreciated. And as a "reward" she offered me only half the amount of money I expected. Even with the raise, I am still making less than my co-workers. I didn't say anything, but I'm very dissapointed and don't know what to do.

Dear Jane:
The saccharine demeanor you were showered with was a ploy used by your "superior" to manipulate you into accepting the little animal-droppings being sent your way. You should be paid a wage equivalent to others with your experience, tenure, and job description. However, as we know, in the real world, stuff happens. On an animal level, "niceness is often viewed as weakness." You are probably a wonderful, generous spirit. You are just the kind of human being those "animals" will take advantage of, if allowed. In deciding your course of action, consider your "bottom line." Are you in a position to quit and find work elsewhere if you ask your boss for the wage you feel you deserve and get more excuses? Are you coming from a position of weakness or strength? If you are not given what you want, consider staying on, long enough to find another job where you will be appreciated—and just as important, paid a fair wage for the great job you do.

Healing affirmantion: I, Jane, give the best to my job and I deserve the respect, appreciation, and an appropriate salary in return. I know either an adjustment will be made at my present employment, which is fair to me and all concerned, or a new and wonderful opportunity will rise from the ashes of my disappointment as I move forward into my abundance and joy.

"Mary's" question:
My husband and I have been happily married for seven years. About a year after we got married, I had a one time affair with a man I used to work with. I never saw him again and have been faithful ever since. I feel guilty about this and want to know if I should tell my husband?

Dear Mary:
If you and your husband have a good marriage, I would recommend not telling him of your affair. Nature proves time and time again "honesty is not always the best policy"—that's why animals are often camouflaged to hide there whereabouts. As long as you are now keeping your vows of monogomy, instead of laying your "guilt trip" on the man you love, hurting him beyond measure, and destroying the trust he now has, it would be far wiser to heal your own guilt. Healing begins with forgiving yourself for your actions—we all make mistakes. But just as important, healing occurs with praising yourself for learning from your mistakes. Thank the "experience" for teaching you about yourself and the strength of commitment and love you have for your husband. The first time you wandered from your vows, you remained innocent. If you had not learned your lesson and continued with your unfaithfulness, the guilt for your behavior would have been justified.

Healing Affirmation: "I, Mary, am innocent. As a child, I am entitled to make mistakes. Learning from my mistakes and growing in self-awareness has transformed me into a responsible adult. I thank the experiences that have caused me the most pain, since they have taught me my most important lessons. I love myself, I am loved by my husband, and having learned from my mistakes, I am deserving of all the love and joy I have."

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